I was fooling around with a much older man, whose daughter was actually a good friend of mine. One morning, after not even ten minutes of trying to contact his daughter, he turns to me and says, “… my daughters have to be the biggest mistakes of my life!”

—Rowan

Aftermath: He actually called me later that day, drunk, trying to convince me that I should leave my little sister’s birthday party to join him and his friends for an orgy. … Haven’t seen him since.

My girlfriend wanted to drop by. Told her I was playing poker with friends that night and to come the next day. She showed up anyway. Tried to include her in the game, but it was hopeless. She sat out of later rounds, but proceeded to grope me from behind. She nearly had my shirt off in front of eight friends when I took her outside my apartment and told her to go home. She ran crying and phoned ten minutes later to break up with me. I ignored future calls.

—MJ

Aftermath: Six months later, she phoned to say she was getting married. I wished her the best. She told me the precise location and time of the wedding. I heard later this was to encourage me to pull some “Graduate”-style last-minute intervention, and she was disappointed I didn’t. She broke up with her husband a year later. She’s apparently a bit of a nutjob. Dodged a bullet.

Two years in, he was living with me rent free, eating me out of house and home and was jobless. He dropped out of school to play World of Warcraft all day and pretended like he was still going to class. Eventually he began crying like a baby that his life was sh*t. A suicidal downward spiral later and I had to kick him to the curb before he took me with him.

—Nihilady

Aftermath: I got my life back together, met a wonderful man and have been happy ever since. As for the ex, he’s still single, jobless, living with mommy and daddy and he’s almost 35.

We went to a fancy hotel. I slept with my pillow over my head because he snores, and in the morning he accused me of using the pillow so I could talk on the phone to other men while he was sleeping. He said he verified this with the front desk. I knew he was bluffing because I didn’t use the phone at all.

—Paula

Aftermath: I checked out by myself that morning and never spoke to him again.

He asked to run a g on me with his four roommates.

—No G for Me!

Aftermath: I said no, but said they could watch us. He said he “wasn’t into having people watch him have sex.”…But your into running a train on your girl? At the same time?