We were in a three year on-again, off-again relationship that went from engagement to genuine public animosity and back, punctuated with booty calls and jealousy. One night after sex at my place she began crying and wouldn’t tell me why, then abruptly left. The next morning she called and said she’d been seeing this guy and thinks she might be in love.

—Herve

Aftermath: She called intermittently after that; a week later to tell me that I’d better get tested for STD’s; a month later to tell me that she’d been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder; three months later to tell me that she was engaged. I eventually changed my number. She was married within six months of that night at my place.

I’m in college. I meet some dude. He seems cute. He asks me out on a date. We go out. We go back to his apartment to hang out. His ex-girlfriend shows up at the door. He has me hide in the bedroom while they fight. For 3 hours.

— buttercrunch

Aftermath: I never agreed to a second date although he made several attempts to schedule one. He semi-stalked me for about a month after that, until I floated the word around campus that he was a bit stalker-ish. He stopped.

A friend told me about someone who was “in love with me.” I decided to give him a chance. Within two weeks, he started calling me three times a day. Next, he said he was “depressed for no reason.” After a month of dating, I ended things. He preceded to tell me how he did his “homework” before asking me out. He said he asked old high school acquaintances about me for three months! I asked, confused, “you’ve been asking people about me for three months? Knowing everything about me?” He said yes, casually.

— Jan

Aftermath: He never contacted me again. Thank goodness he had a little respect for himself.

My wife and I were sitting around drinking with a bunch of friends. The subject came up over how many times in the last week each couple had sex. My wife went into deep thought, counting on her fingers and then blurted out a number that was more than twice what I had come up with. After I quizzically mentioned my number the look on her face and her whispered “Oh S#!t” was all that needed to be said. The party broke up with everyone apologizing to me.

Aftermath: I now call her my ex-wife. She is almost 40, preggers and misses me. Ahhhh… too bad.

I broke up with my ex after I invited him to my family’s 4th of July vacation and he began to pout because we were being too loud and he wanted to go to bed. It was 9 p.m. on the 4th of July.

—Frances

Aftermath: Just before he left, he accused me of cheating with one of my friends. I wasn’t, but I’m now engaged to him and he doesn’t pout.