best-of

 

“Lackluster”

best of clashes

While going through my texts, I realized I deleted the ones from her first because she literally never had anything interesting, funny, or even very smart to say.

—CHT

Aftermath: We kept going out for about a month later, but we pretty much stopped trying after a couple weeks and had a very boring breakup. A fitting end to a similarly lackluster relationship.

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“Downward Spiral”

best of weird

Two years in, he was living with me rent free, eating me out of house and home and was jobless. He dropped out of school to play World of Warcraft all day and pretended like he was still going to class. Eventually he began crying like a baby that his life was sh*t. A suicidal downward spiral later and I had to kick him to the curb before he took me with him.

—Nihilady

Aftermath: I got my life back together, met a wonderful man and have been happy ever since. As for the ex, he’s still single, jobless, living with mommy and daddy and he’s almost 35.

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“Too Fast!!”

best of chemistry

We went out on a group date for our first date with some mutual friends. I had a good time and he drove me home. I kissed him at my door, a little closed-mouth peck on the lips. I knew it was over when he IMed me a couple days later saying that I was “moving too fast.”

—emily

Aftermath: I knew it would never last with that attitude. I think he’s engaged now, according to Facebook. Good for him.


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“Pillow Talk”

best of weird

We went to a fancy hotel. I slept with my pillow over my head because he snores, and in the morning he accused me of using the pillow so I could talk on the phone to other men while he was sleeping. He said he verified this with the front desk. I knew he was bluffing because I didn’t use the phone at all.

—Paula

Aftermath: I checked out by myself that morning and never spoke to him again.


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“Sucker Puncher”

best of clashes

A short time after moving in together, we were arguing and she flipped over a bucket full of Pine Sol water I was holding, getting it all over me and nearly ruining her loveseat. Later that day, she got in my face and clinched her fist like she was going to hit me.

—B

Aftermath: She hit me twice … a few months later. I had just broken up with her and, from three feet away, she through her phone at my face. Then she sucker punched me while I was tending to my eye, which was closed up. We don’t speak anymore.

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