I was fooling around with a much older man, whose daughter was actually a good friend of mine. One morning, after not even ten minutes of trying to contact his daughter, he turns to me and says, “… my daughters have to be the biggest mistakes of my life!”

—Rowan

Aftermath: He actually called me later that day, drunk, trying to convince me that I should leave my little sister’s birthday party to join him and his friends for an orgy. … Haven’t seen him since.

We met online and, after a few months, set up a date. He was supposed to arrive @ 7 p.m. He didn’t show until 11:30 p.m. Kept getting lost and calling me from various “lost” locations. I’m sorry, only an idiot would get this lost. Nonetheless, I kept the date and let Lost Boy into my home. At 12:30am, I yawned. He shot up from his chair and barked at me: “Sorry if I’m keeping you up or anything” and ran out the door.

—Kim

Aftermath: A few days later, he texted me and wanted to make sure I wasn’t mad. I ignored it and vowed to myself to never sign up on an Internet dating site EVER again.

My girlfriend wanted to drop by. Told her I was playing poker with friends that night and to come the next day. She showed up anyway. Tried to include her in the game, but it was hopeless. She sat out of later rounds, but proceeded to grope me from behind. She nearly had my shirt off in front of eight friends when I took her outside my apartment and told her to go home. She ran crying and phoned ten minutes later to break up with me. I ignored future calls.

—MJ

Aftermath: Six months later, she phoned to say she was getting married. I wished her the best. She told me the precise location and time of the wedding. I heard later this was to encourage me to pull some “Graduate”-style last-minute intervention, and she was disappointed I didn’t. She broke up with her husband a year later. She’s apparently a bit of a nutjob. Dodged a bullet.

When he told me (a girl) that he’d just cheated on me with another man.

—toobad

Aftermath: We broke up and it’s probably for the best.

He told me it would be nice to “F” someone beautiful and intelligent and he wasn’t talking about me…

—Tammy

Aftermath: Splitsville