She checked out the financial stability of a guy she was infatuated with to see if there was the possibility of making a step up in her life.

— Steve

Aftermath: Still together because divorce is so costly.

Our first kiss her breath smelled and tasted so bad that it reminded me of the smell earlier in the day when I was going number two.

— Ric

Aftermath: I never kissed her again.

My wife’s “fiance” called one night when the wife wasn’t home and I answered the phone.

— Tom

Aftermath: We separated that night and got divorced a couple months later. They married a month or so after that and now have a kid.

He announced he was still traumatized from being circumcised and he wanted to “grow it back.”

He spent every day with his tiny unit wrapped in surgical tape and popsicle sticks, with a lead weight dangling from it. Then he accused me of not wanting to have sex with him. Um, why would I?? He was lousy in bed anyway, even when he wasn’t wrapped like a mummy.

— Kat

Aftermath: I moved out. He emailed about a year later to tell me his little project was a success, but I told him that wasn’t an appropriate topic between us.

He drove a 1960’s hearse, which I thought was awesome. He called me 4 times a day for 3 weeks, and inevitably he would try to convince me to have sex with him in his hearse.

— Creepy. Just creepy.

Aftermath: He was a virgin, and claimed that’s why his dad bought the vehicle for him.