“ABCs”
We were “study buddies” for one of our college classes. Things got hot and steamy one night, and we took it to his bedroom. I thought it was weird that he kept saying how awesome it was that he could stay hard but never cum (ever?!), though I let it go because he offered to go down on me. Then he said, “Ladies love it when I do the alphabet on them!” and proceeds to draw the alphabet with his tongue while saying “A… B… C…” Um, can we just stick “O,” please?
—Nancy
Aftermath: Good thing it never started in the first place. We never talked again afterward that little primary school lesson. Plus, it turns out he had a girlfriend, so… yeah.
0
No wonder. According to the noted sexologist, the late great Sam Kinnison, he was supposed to be doing “Capital T’s”!
He actually said it out loud? While he was doing it?
Well, on the positive at least he didn’t sing it. You’d never hear a child sing it again without bursting into dirty giggles.