So I got drunk and f***ed this guy on our second date. He kept telling me he loved me and tried to get me to tell him I loved him, which was a bonerkiller like you would not believe. I had to threaten to put my pants on and go home before he would shut up. Right after we finished, he asked “Wasn’t that the best orgasm you’ve ever had?” I was irritated enough to answer, truthfully, that it had not been, at which point he got really pouty.

—Amelie

Aftermath: Immediately started avoiding the hell out of him, although he continued to drunk-dial for almost a year. Wow, seeing this in writing makes me way more embarrassed about this.

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