“Glad it isn’t me”
I knew it was over when she said she was going to Afghanistan and all I could think of was, “Glad it isn’t me.”
–Alex
Aftermath: She’s still there. HA! And I’m still happy not being there.
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“A Torn Frank Zappa”
He punched a hole through my bathroom wall and tore up my “Frank Zappa on the toilet” poster.
–Danya
Aftermath: I packed up my car and got the fuck out of Greensboro, North Carolina.
3
“A big man”
A big man walked up to my fiancé and told him to stay the f*** away from his wife.
—Amy
Aftermath: He denied the affair initially, but then dumped me on the eve of my 30th birthday. I was visiting him abroad, so he put me up in a hotel while I waited for my flight home. I upgraded to the penthouse and ordered lots of room service to at least stick him with a big bill.
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“Funky smell”
One day I realized that funky smell emanating from my husband was creamed corn.
—Jenn
Aftermath: Sadly, the relationship lasted ten LOOOONG years after that. I finally kicked him to the curb when he carried me across the house by my neck, in front of our child. Should’ve left when he just stunk.
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