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“Flirt”

clashes

We were camping on Martha’s Vineyard before the season started with very little to do. One day we decided to have a beer in town. Some local guys were hanging out in the bar and she started flirting the moment we sat down. This was typical behavior for her and I hated it. After she suggested we invite them over, I figured enough was enough. I told her I was walking and she told me she was staying. So I left and sat outside. She came out shortly, totally freaked out that I left her in a dangerous situation.

–Tom

Aftermath: She stormed off toward the ferry to leave me on the island with our camping equipment. On the way, she realized she had a tick behind her ear and needed me to remove it. This moment of vulnerability and the resulting gratitude sucked me into another couple of months.

This post was submitted by Tom.

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“Matchbox Car”

sex

His Matchbox car wasn’t close to the size he had claimed.

–Unimpressed

Aftermath: It was the worst sex of my life.

This post was submitted by Unimpressed.

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“The Office”

best of clashes

I was sitting on the couch watching The Office when he sat down next to me with his knees up and his feet smooshing mine. It hurt, so I moved my legs. He then proceeded to get up, pout and ignore me for the next two hours. When I finally asked him what the deal was, he said I was watching too much of The Office.

Aftermath: In that two-hour stretch of time he stumped around, slammed doors, went to nap (or so I thought), then grabbed a book and sat Indian-style on our balcony floor. I knew then that I couldn’t take it anymore.

This post was submitted by Bobbie.

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“Every Three Seconds”

best of sex

He initiated every time we had sex, and each time he would switch positions every 3 seconds, making for a terrible experience… I really knew it was over when I woke up to him masturbating next to me… I just wanted to shower.

M

Aftermath: About 3 weeks later, after some of the most boring sex of my life, I broke it off. We are still friendly, but I just couldn’t get past that.

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“Subtitles”

best of manners

I knew it was over when his mom started speaking to him in Russian and he answered back in Russian–leaving me totally out of the loop and standing around like an idiot.

–Kat

Aftermath: We broke up. No subtitles required.

This post was submitted by Kat.

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