weird

 

“Sister”

best of weird

It should have been over when he told me he had sex with his sister. They weren’t blood related, but raised from toddler age. Their parents supported their sick relationship. I figured he loved me when he stopped seeing her on their “Wednesday nights” and asked me to marry him. What a mistake. He never slept in the same bed with me, and would only touch my arm with his finger as a sign of affection. I asked him if he had been sexually abused and he screamed, “No!” like a frantic woman.

Betty

Aftermath: A few sad, pathetic years. During that time he stashed away $50,000. I asked for no alimony. I am with my real husband now and our life is blessed!


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“Sniffing Redux”

best of weird

She caught me sniffing her daughter’s dildo.

—John

Aftermath: I moved my crap out the next day.

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“Guinea Pig Killer”

best of weird

My boyfriend told me he lost my guinea pig while playing with it. Thirty minutes later, we found it behind the couchdead. A week later, I forgave him and he bought me a new one. Not even a month later he accidentally killed that one too and stuck it in a trash bag next to a can of raviolis that he made 2 minutes after the poor animal died. And this was not the weirdest thing about him either…

Secret

Aftermath: I went to the bathroom to cry and when I came out, I dumped him! He is now known as Guinea Pig Killer.


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