“Nice try jealous guy”


I was a professional salsa dancer when we met, and even after 8 months of dating, he was still jealous.
One night he texted me saying he was going to kill himself. I came home to find him rolling around under his sheets with Mardi Gras beads wrapped around his neck “choking” himself. I stood watching for 15 minutes while he would flail, cough, and occasionally peek out from underneath to see if I was still paying attention.


Aftermath: All that is left of that relationship is this story.

This post was submitted by happierNow.

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It was over when I found him outside my bedroom window listening to my phone conversations.


Aftermath: After 4 years, he still tries to see me. WEIRDO.

This post was submitted by stoli.

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“Going Offline”


I’d been emailing this guy for a week, then we had our first phone call. He asked me if I played Eve Online. I said no. Then he started bragging about his financial prowess in the game. I said I needed to hang up three or four times, but he kept talking. I put the phone down to brush my teeth, and he didn’t notice. Then I hung up.

—Gamer chick

Aftermath: He called back, I didn’t answer. Then he sent an email saying our phones had been cut off, and when can he call me again? I replied, Never.

This post was submitted by Gamer chick.

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“Birthday present threesome”


We celebrated his birthday per his wishes: He and his “friend” got their nipples pierced together.  While we three had martinis at our house, he leaned back and leered at us while she started playing with my hair. I felt so trapped. Later, they went to our bed together, while I stayed on the couch. The next day, as I cried my eyes out, he said I was “cool” and didn’t understand why I was so upset.


Aftermath: He told everybody I was mentally ill and making it all up. Fast forward to after the divorce: I don’t need anti-depressants anymore, and they’re engaged.

This post was submitted by Hershey.

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“Not enough chaos”


We’d been dating for four months… I asked him to babysit my 5-year-old son for a few hours so I could attend a class. Came home to find he’d randomly rearranged all the kitchen dishes, shrunk my sweaters in the dryer, poured chlorinated water in my fish tank, and overdosed my kid on allergy medicine “because he coughed.” He laughed at my distress, and said my life wasn’t chaotic enough.

—Better off Single

Aftermath: I asked him to leave… forgot he still had my key. Next week, I skipped a regular appointment and came home to find him hanging out in my apartment. Got the key back then.

This post was submitted by Better off Single.