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“To make me jealous”

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He slept with my coworker to make me jealous. It didn’t.

—Jalinda

Aftermath: He tried to commit suicide two nights after the break-up. I stopped feeling sorry for him after the next girl broke up with him and he again tried to commit suicide. Drama queen!

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“Three-pack-a-day voice”

manners sex

We were making out, and suddenly we had to stop. He looked over at me and said in that stupid, gruff, three-pack-a-day voice of his, “I wish we had more time—and a condom.” We had barely been dating three days.

—Lily

Aftermath: I broke up with him probably two days later. (He sucked at kissing too.)


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“What couples do”

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Less than year into our relationship I asked her why she didn’t seem to want to be around me in any way. No sex, no contact of any kind. She told me, “That’s what couples do: They stop having sex.”

—Aaron

Aftermath: She ended the conversation by summoning her dog to once again sleep in bed between us. I got jealous of that dog. Later, she cried when I tried to break up, then broke up with me when she found another boyfriend to share the rent.

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“Skimpy package”

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In all my dating experience, he was by far the sexiest man I had been with. There was a catch: Sexy as he was, this man was not—ahem—very well-endowed. Painfully not so. At first, I shrugged it off and made excuses like “Well, he is sooo hot” and “He makes me laugh and he is great to be around.” Until a month into the relationship, I wasn’t able to really “feel” him during sex. I knew then, no matter how sexy the man, I simply can’t skimp on the package for the long-term.

—Christine

Aftermath: I skipped on his skimpy package.

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“Sexual fantasy”

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I asked him what his sexual fantasy was, and he said, “Two redheads.” I’m a brunette.

—Autumn

Aftermath: He left me two months later. For a blonde.


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