sex

 

“Leg shaver”

sex

He said he shaves his legs because he likes the feel of it and women tell him it drives them wild.

—Lolita

Aftermath: It remains to be seen.


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“Completing the Family”

best of sex

He brought his ex-wife to our dinner date. Not only was her name the same as mine, but he explained that they were looking to complete their family. He then proceeded to tell me the rules of the house and punishment for breaking those rules (something about flogging). Yeah, that wasn’t happening.

—Jenn

Aftermath: They are still looking for their third!

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“Breast Milk”

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We went on a date despite the fact that she had just given birth three months ago (I didn’t ask and didn’t care). We were making out in my car and she kept complaining that her boobs hurt when she didn’t “remove” the milk. She asked me if I wanted to see them. As a guy, I would NEVER turn down the sight of boobs. I thought it was an invitation to upcoming sex, but I was DEAD wrong. She relieved herself by squirting milk all over the inside of my car, dashboard, rear-view mirror…

—Accol

Aftermath: Ever try scrubbing breast milk off the inside of your car? Didn’t think so.

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“The Giggler”

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He giggled after sex. And not just a little, it was pretty hearty giggling like someone just told the funniest damn joke…and it last for about 5 minutes. It was some kind of “tick” that he had. He couldn’t control it and it happened to him every time.

—No Sense of Humor

Aftermath: I tried to give it a shot, he was a nice guy & I didn’t want to be shallow. But I couldn’t take it. A couple weeks & few more “giggle” sessions later, I stopped responding. It was just too weird!

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“The best orgasm”

best of sex

So I got drunk and f***ed this guy on our second date. He kept telling me he loved me and tried to get me to tell him I loved him, which was a bonerkiller like you would not believe. I had to threaten to put my pants on and go home before he would shut up. Right after we finished, he asked “Wasn’t that the best orgasm you’ve ever had?” I was irritated enough to answer, truthfully, that it had not been, at which point he got really pouty.

—Amelie

Aftermath: Immediately started avoiding the hell out of him, although he continued to drunk-dial for almost a year. Wow, seeing this in writing makes me way more embarrassed about this.

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