sex

 

“Belly Sex”

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My husband and I were having sex on the couch, me straddling him. His small dick slipped out of me and went in between our bellies. He didn’t notice and kept thrusting. He finished about a minute later.

–Lauren

Aftermath: I stayed married to him for 3 more years trying to make it work. Turned out he had been gay since he was a teenager. I was his beard.

This post was submitted by Lauren.


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“Matchbox Car”

sex

His Matchbox car wasn’t close to the size he had claimed.

–Unimpressed

Aftermath: It was the worst sex of my life.

This post was submitted by Unimpressed.


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“Every Three Seconds”

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He initiated every time we had sex, and each time he would switch positions every 3 seconds, making for a terrible experience… I really knew it was over when I woke up to him masturbating next to me… I just wanted to shower.

M

Aftermath: About 3 weeks later, after some of the most boring sex of my life, I broke it off. We are still friendly, but I just couldn’t get past that.


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“Farmville”

best of sex

Half way through sex, my boyfriend looked at the clock and said, “Oh crap its 4:25 my crops are going to wither!” and proceeded to go to the computer to harvest his crop on Farmville, an online game.

—Sandra

Aftermath: I left and never went back.

This post was submitted by Sandra.


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“Sexless”

sex

It was over when he told me he had no libido anymore, but he didn’t want to go to a doctor to get it checked out.

–Lola

Aftermath: After six sexless months of hell, he went to the doctor, and didn’t follow what he suggested. I moved out a week later.

This post was submitted by Lola.


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