secrets

 

“Four Years to Make a Man”

best of secrets!

Year one: We diet and go to the gym together.
Year two: He gets plastic surgery from all the weight he lost from year one.
Year three: He is happier and I push him for a new job, while I start house hunting.
Year four: I buy him a laptop for X-mas and put the down payment on his new car.
Year five: My skinny, good looking boyfriend uses his laptop to find a new girlfriend that he impresses with his new car and three-flat financial investment.

—Monika

Aftermath: I am living with a new boyfriend that I don’t have to buy a thing for and I am the happiest I have been in five years. Lesson learned.

This post was submitted by Monika.


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“Identity Theft”

best of secrets!

I’d been dating David for about 6 months and we were about to embark on a 3-week vacation with our dogs. A couple days prior to departure, his brother—DAVID—calls me. Turns out, while he was overseas on a work assignment, his brother (the David I was dating) was “house sitting.” Basically, everything I knew was really part of the overseas brother’s life and identity.

—Sharon

Aftermath: The real David had the fake David committed to the local mental hospital upon returning home. He only found out about me from one of his neighbors, which led him to search for my number and call. The three of us had one visit together the night before vacation. Next day, I went on to Montana by myself with my dog and was totally over this chapter after an hour on the road.

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“After Prom”

best of secrets!

My girlfriend and I met up at an “after prom” party, got drunk, and ultimately ending up having sex. What I didn’t know was that she had cheated on me, with her ex, before she went home to change and he didn’t wear a condom. She denied it, even with her best friends siding with me.

—Chris

Aftermath: We still talk here and there, and still “have feelings for each other” but nothing has amounted ever since the incident.

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“Flipped”

secrets!

She finally had sex with me after weeks of just handjobs, and we lived together! I flipped her into a position where I saw straight up her nose, which was full of coke.

—jerbear

Aftermath: Stayed with her long enough for her to leave me for someone she met on the Internet. She’s basically homeless now.

This post was submitted by jerbear.

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“Obituary”

best of secrets!

It should have been over the day I found out he had created a Match.com account “just to see if anyone would respond.” Fast forward 6 years of never-completely-off / never-completely-sure-if-we-were-on, his father was terminally ill. I feel awful for him and agree to “try again” because he swore I was what was missing in his life, and the only one for him…

—FARM

Aftermath: Reading his father’s obituary, he was listed as having a wife. A what? I sent my condolences to him and his wife via text message, along with the fact that I never wanted to hear from him again.

This post was submitted by FARM.


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