manners

 

“My shirt was off”

best of manners

She was rubbing my shoulders. My shirt was off, allowing me to feel the warm exhale of her belch before I nosed the cloud of cheeseburger and Clamato gas that engulfed me. She said nothing and kept humming as if nothing had happened.

—William

Aftermath: It was long distance already, making it easy enough to just quit.

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“Blew his nose”

manners

At the end of dinner at a high-end restaurant, he blew his nose into a cloth napkin.

—Joanne

Aftermath: That was it. Gross.

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“The second his fingers”

manners

My long-distance boyfriend and I took a holiday vacation together. He was sick and had the sniffles all weekend. The sniffling was annoying, but I cut him some slack since he was sick. On the last day of our trip, using his fingers, he combed boogers out of his protruding nose hair and ate them. It was over the second his fingers hit his lips.

—Adrienne

Aftermath: I resisted the urge to dump him in the airport before we parted ways, but did so 2 weeks later over the phone. I didn’t tell him the reason.

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“Used massage oil”

manners

He gave me a used massage oil candle for a going away present when I was moving home to take care of my dying mother.

—Marissa

Aftermath: He called me about a month later to express his condolences after her passing. Shortly thereafter he changed his Facebook status to say he was in a relationship with someone else.


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“Multitasking”

manners

I knew it was over when I knocked on the bathroom door and he said “come in” only for me to see him taking a number 2 and eating breakfast simultaneously.

—Randi

Aftermath: It ended right there.

This post was submitted by Randi.

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