“His Friend”

best of manners

My boyfriend assumed that my wanting to introduce him to my best friend meant “we must set her up on a blind date with his friend.” His friend, however, was 7 years younger than her, had borrowed his dad’s truck for the night & kept touching her knee under the table. And yet, he was irritated and confused by the fact that she was not receptive to this. Then, when we got up to leave after he admitted he was actually engaged, he called us bitches and whores.


Aftermath: When my guy just sat there and laughed throughout the whole thing, I ended it that night.


“Hospital smell”

best of chemistry

We hung out a couple times, had some drinks and went back to her apartment. I was blown away by her comfortability in disrobing and how amazing her rack was. We had great sex…and then I noticed it. She had the peculiar smell of a hospital when she perspired. That did it!

Diggity Dave

Aftermath: We met at the movies a week or so later.  I really hoped it was something in her apartment, but as she hugged me at the theater, the hospital smell wafted up my nostrils for the last time!


“Twilight v. Shakespeare”

best of chemistry

Being well-read is a major turn-on for me. On the first date, I referenced Shakespeare’s “Taming of the Shrew” and “Much Ado about Nothing,” and she had never even heard of them. But she had read “Twilight.”


Aftermath: There was not a second date.



best of weird

It was over when he sharted in my car…


Aftermath: It should have been dunzo right then and there but it lasted a few more months. At least I have this story to think of that reminds me how much he sucks. lol.


“One, Please”

best of manners

My sister set me up on a date. He picked me up, drove us to a movie theater, stepped up to the ticket window and said, “One, please.”


Aftermath:  No second date.  My sister said he was notoriously cheap, and I ended up avoiding him at my sister’s gatherings for a year until he stopped trying to talk to me.