Shortly after we ended things, I searched some of our chats for the times when he made me genuinely laugh. They were few and very far between. It was mostly me cracking myself up with my responses to him. I gotta say, I’m pretty damn funny. He wasn’t. But he sure thought he was.

—Vanessa

Aftermath: Taking applications for funny guys who don’t always resort to poop and fart jokes. Although I do love me some of those.

We dated 2 years. Valentine’s Day. Big fight. Hot make up sex. She says to me afterwards, “During our fight, I was standing at the foot of the bed watching us argue. I was thinking to myself, Don’t be so mean to him. He really is a nice guy.” Stand at the foot of the bed watching herself?!

—Rondog

Next morning I walked her to the front door and told her we were done. She calmly said OK without any emotion and turned and walked away. I never saw her again.

I had only been married a couple of months and decided to prepare a nice meal for my husband. He was hungry but also had to poop. So, he took his plate into the bathroom and ate it while he was pooping. To this day I cannot eat ham without thinking of him on the toilet.

—Michelle

Aftermath: DIVORCE!

I spent the last 3 years in graduate school while my special man snuck around and lied to me repeatedly while I was writing my thesis. One month after I graduated, he “dropped the nuclear bomb”. Five months of his lying. Now he denies, deflects, minimizes, accuses me of lying; he cannot take responsibility. He feigns obsession with spirituality and God, which makes it all the worse. He is trying to set me up as the bad guy. I just finished my masters degree for “us.”I feel annihilated.

–Devastated

Aftermath: I am currently trying to recover, and it is not going very well. Every time I talk with him, I feel like I want to die. I am still looking for work and will probably have to leave my home in 3 weeks. He doesn’t care. My long-earned trust of him shattered. Unbearable. He is happy as a clam. Pure evil.

She started coming to my band’s gigs. She was 7 years older than me. We went to a movie… once! Suddenly I started getting cards in the mail with hand-written messages like, “I think I’m in love!” After ONE MOVIE. I, as gently as possible, broke up with her. Her girlfriend was there and angrily kicked me out.

—mel

Aftermath: Six months later, she came to a gig with her NEW HUSBAND, whom she’d met 4 months earlier. Definitely dodged a bullet.