He left me in a train station in a city where I knew no one, and claimed he “forgot” his cell phone, even though he knew I was coming.

—Traingirl

Aftermath: I stayed with him and then, after not hearing from him for 3 weeks, decided he might not be worth it!

It was a second date and the guy came over to watch a movie. I had bought one of those huge chocolate bars from Trader Joe’s because I had just started my period and was saving it for one of those nights. He proceeded to eat the ENTIRE thing, shoving a small piece in his pocket to take home with him. Then he fell asleep within 20 minutes of the movie and snored like a train. Second impressions still count, buddy.

—Kelly

Aftermath: I don’t do snoring. And I don’t share chocolate! I ignored his calls after that and there was no third date.

*In high school*

I went into her classroom and sang a love song to her to be my Valentine.

She said yes, then no after school.

Figures, she told her friends about what she said.

—J

Aftermath: I went up to her face and said, “B*tch”

I sent my (somewhat bitter) ex a message: “I tried to call you but you turned off your phone, which I think is kinda childish… But anyway. I think I’m pregnant. If I am, I might have to abort. I don’t expect anything from you. Just letting you know out of respect.” He only replied: “I was abroad all day! If that’s being childish… ”

—Catarina

Aftermath: Luckily, I wasn’t pregnant.

For my 40th birthday my husband bought me flannel pajamas. No surprise party, just the flannels. He said he heard me say I was cold one night. I think that is the first time he ever listened to anything I said.

—Glad I’m gone

Aftermath: I left the flannel pajamas in the middle of the bedroom floor when I left my cheating husband. Who wears pajamas anyway?