It was a second date and the guy came over to watch a movie. I had bought one of those huge chocolate bars from Trader Joe’s because I had just started my period and was saving it for one of those nights. He proceeded to eat the ENTIRE thing, shoving a small piece in his pocket to take home with him. Then he fell asleep within 20 minutes of the movie and snored like a train. Second impressions still count, buddy.

—Kelly

Aftermath: I don’t do snoring. And I don’t share chocolate! I ignored his calls after that and there was no third date.

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