We’d been dating for four months… I asked him to babysit my 5-year-old son for a few hours so I could attend a class. Came home to find he’d randomly rearranged all the kitchen dishes, shrunk my sweaters in the dryer, poured chlorinated water in my fish tank, and overdosed my kid on allergy medicine “because he coughed.” He laughed at my distress, and said my life wasn’t chaotic enough.

—Better off Single

Aftermath: I asked him to leave… forgot he still had my key. Next week, I skipped a regular appointment and came home to find him hanging out in my apartment. Got the key back then.

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