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“Dilapidated Loofah”

quirks

He had dilapidated purple loofah gloves hanging in his shower. When I asked him if they belonged to his daughter, he said, “No, they’re mine. I have to keep my skin smooth.” The end.

—Angus La Rue

Aftermath: I broke up with him on the spot and cried my eyes out all the way home.

7

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7 Responses to “Dilapidated Loofah”

  1. flimflamjam says on October 5th, 2009 at 12:53 am :

    …you broke up with him, literally, when you found out he owned a purple loofa…

    Then you cried about it?

    Wth?

  2. mr_speaker says on October 5th, 2009 at 7:08 am :

    I have to agree with flimflamjam. Why did you break up with this guy so suddenly and in tears? How does owning a loofah become a deal breaker?

  3. bhflint says on October 9th, 2009 at 1:33 pm :

    I’m guessing he didn’t cry. I’m looking for his version of the breakup on here now…guessing it is funnier than yours.

  4. Rattrap007 says on February 25th, 2010 at 8:05 pm :

    Oooooh kay. This sounds like some weird Seinfeld type break up. They guy like to exfoliate and that is a problem? You’d rather have a guy with rough skin? Or was that is was old and he was too cheap to buy a new one.. or that it was purple?

  5. DarlingClementine says on March 3rd, 2010 at 5:55 pm :

    You cried because you’re that shallow?

  6. onthesleeve says on May 13th, 2011 at 6:19 pm :

    damn i own a loofah, hope my girl doesn’t break up with me over it, ohhh wait shes not as shallow as a paper-plate.

  7. Cas says on July 18th, 2012 at 3:55 pm :

    You seriously overreacted. Did you break up with your next boyfriend because he wore toe-socks? And the next one because he didn’t have a full home gym? It sounds like you really need to get over yourself.