My date took me to his place of employment. It was there I discovered this 28-year-old man DJs at a college bar, while obscenely groping a blow-up doll, pouring watered-down hooch down girls’ throats, wearing graphic t-shirts, and screaming, “Who wants to get laid tonight??!!” I discovered this was also his 30-year plan. Yikes.

—Michelle

Aftermath: I, surprisingly, did not want to get laid that night. I did, however, take advantage of the open tab that was provided to me.

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