It was over when she got knocked up by her friend’s boyfriend.

—Bob

Aftermath: Shotgun wedding, baby, divorce, another baby with another guy.

27

When I asked him who his best friend was, he said his ex-girlfriend. Who lived with him. Who had left him for his other “best friend,” who also lived with him.

—Anne

Aftermath: I gave it a sporting chance for about a month, but after that it wasn’t worth trying to play silver medal to his ex.

16

I knew it was over when, for the fourth time in less than two months, I woke up to him attempting to hide the fact that he had yet again peed his bed. To make matters worse, it was a twin bed covered in sheets portraying “The Simpsons” and he was 33 years old!

—V

Aftermath: Considering the fact that his cousin and best friend found out about his “habit” from my MySpace rant, it didn’t last much longer.

14

I never before met up with a guy from the Internet. except on one occasion for the laugh. We built up a rapport over some time as friends and following my break-up from a two-year relationship, I was up for something a bit daring. I went to his town for the weekend, and after the first wonderful night, he suddenly became clingy and repeatedly whimpered in a babyish voice, “Me likey, me likey,” even during sex. He was 10 years my senior, and this stupid talk was the most unbearable turn off ever.

—Ruby

Aftermath: I stayed for the weekend as promised but when I got home I became gradually more distant and he finally took the hint, so I got off pretty lightly.

17

The first time we kissed, she bit my lip. I’m not opposed to nibbling, but she busted it open.

—Tony

Aftermath: It last 15 minutes after that.

9