He suddenly said it would be nice if I had long hair, weighed 10 lbs less (although I was very thin) and was 4 inches shorter.

—An

Aftermath: He finally ended back in the arms of his ex-girlfriend. She fit that description.

I let my friend set me up on a blind, double-date with her and her boyfriend. He showed up and immediately gave me a rolled up piece of fabric. I opened it up, and it was a calendar with his photo on the top and the words “World’s Greatest Lover.” I guess I was supposed to be excited by it, but I was extremely embarrassed, I had never even met this guy before.

— KS

Aftermath: I did go on the date, I threw out the calendar as soon as I got home. I never answered his calls and it took some time, but I’ve forgiven my friend.

We were “study buddies” for one of our college classes. Things got hot and steamy one night, and we took it to his bedroom. I thought it was weird that he kept saying how awesome it was that he could stay hard but never cum (ever?!), though I let it go because he offered to go down on me. Then he said, “Ladies love it when I do the alphabet on them!” and proceeds to draw the alphabet with his tongue while saying “A… B… C…” Um, can we just stick “O,” please?

—Nancy

Aftermath: Good thing it never started in the first place. We never talked again afterward that little primary school lesson. Plus, it turns out he had a girlfriend, so… yeah.

I was dating a guy for about 6 months and we visited his parents in Florida. He had set up an interview for a job while there. He got the job and to my surprise took it…expecting me to just up and move with him.

—Amy

Aftermath: I told him that was unlikely to happen but I visited a few times for the free vacation.

After an hour of wrenchingly dull dinner conversation, we finally got to the “What’s your favorite…?” portion of the evening. I asked her what kind of music she liked, and the first thing that came to her mind was Marilyn Manson. At first I laughed it off and asked what else she listened to. She thought…really hard…for nearly two minutes (I timed it on my watch)…and wasn’t sure, though she volunteered that “Fergie is sorta cool, ya know, like, ya know.”

—Nate

Aftermath: As if that wasn’t bad enough, we cuddled harmlessly that night (at her rather pushy prompting) and I found out later from our mutual friend that she was going around telling people I tried to cop a feel.