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“Penis Envy”

best of weird

He announced he was still traumatized from being circumcised and he wanted to “grow it back.”

He spent every day with his tiny unit wrapped in surgical tape and popsicle sticks, with a lead weight dangling from it. Then he accused me of not wanting to have sex with him. Um, why would I?? He was lousy in bed anyway, even when he wasn’t wrapped like a mummy.

— Kat

Aftermath: I moved out. He emailed about a year later to tell me his little project was a success, but I told him that wasn’t an appropriate topic between us.

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This post was submitted by kat.

9
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“Cold Shoulder”

manners

It was our first date. We went for coffee, and then to the movies. I got chilly, so I leaned towards him, shivered, and commented that I was cold (what I thought was an obvious signal to put his arm around me). Without even taking his eyes off the screen he said, “So put your jacket on.”

— Tara

Aftermath: I wanted to walk out right there, but I was his ride home. A drive that should have taken me 20 minutes took less than 10, and I haven’t talked to him since.

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This post was submitted by Tara.

8
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“If this hearse is a rockin’…”

best of weird

He drove a 1960′s hearse, which I thought was awesome. He called me 4 times a day for 3 weeks, and inevitably he would try to convince me to have sex with him in his hearse.

— Creepy. Just creepy.

Aftermath: He was a virgin, and claimed that’s why his dad bought the vehicle for him.

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This post was submitted by Creepy. Just creepy..

16
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“Oz”

best of secrets!

She told me that she was cheating on a guy named Oz to be with me.
Her age: 21
My age: 17
Oz: 15
Also, she made fun of statutory rape. Really funny

— Jake

Aftermath: She got me in a weak spot (one of my best friends died) and I dated her for three more months, she told me I was to good for her, she was cheating on me, but with an older guy, Oz knows nothing, poor guy.

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This post was submitted by Jake.

3
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“Oh Darren”

clashes

In an attempt to make my girlfriend jealous back in high school I took her best friend to the winter dance. We made it back to her house and we went right to the bedroom. Clothes started to come off and as I am about to make penetration she looks me right in the eye and says, “Oh Darren, I love you.” Needless to say, I said I wasn’t feeling well and went home.

— Darren

Aftermath: My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years and couldn’t be happier. Her friend is now a lesbian.

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This post was submitted by Darren.

4
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