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“Spittin’ Nails”

best of manners

He refused to use nail clippers, instead pulling his foot up to his mouth and chewing off his toenails! Then he spit them out on my carpet!

— Angie

Aftermath: I packed his stuff and put it in my driveway. Then I called him at work and told him to bring a truck because he was OUT!

This post was submitted by Angie.

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“Vacation at Club Med(ication)”

chemistry

I took her to Catalina Island. About twenty minutes into the ferry ride she informed me she forgot her “meds.” She spent the weekend shopping alone with my money and hiding in the hotel room with the lights off and the blinds pulled. ’Nuff said.

— Pat

Aftermath: After our return I quietly made other living arrangements. Her keeping the dog is my only regret.

This post was submitted by Pat.

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“Must Obey”

chemistry

I opened his daily planner and saw “Must Obey” written on the inside pages on each of the days, along with “JJ (his male best friend) left with no sex, I felt I was owed,” and “Googled porn today.” I couldn’t have left any faster.

— Nicole

Aftermath: I broke up with him quickly there after saying I wasn’t “romantically interested in him anymore.” It was the truth.

This post was submitted by nicole.

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“Cigars or Me?”

clashes

My ex gave me an ultimatum: Stop smoking cigars or else. She thought the smell from my clothes after a cigar would affect a child if she was pregnant. I said that was like me working at Pizza Hut, coming home, and her getting fat from smelling my clothes.

— Nate

Aftermath: She dumped me.

This post was submitted by Nate.

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“Death of a Marriage”

best of manners

The day of my dad’s funeral my husband insisted on stopping at an archery store so he could “look around.”

— boomer

Aftermath: We are divorced.

This post was submitted by boomer.

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