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“Bum Money”

quirks

He was living rent-free with his mother and was always broke. I chalked it up to his bad employment luck and confusion over what to do with his life. I should have known when he’d work a 4-hour shift and complain for an hour, then snap at me if I tried to commiserate over my 8-hour shift. It wasn’t until he came into a few thousand bucks and had to bum money for bus fare 3 months later. He then complained about spending money on my birthday.

Red

Aftermath: I got sick of carting his a** around, and 6 months later, he started getting violent. I married a wonderful man he introduced me to.


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“Doubling Up”

best of sex

He got mad at me for doubling up on birth control to postpone my period so we could have sex after being away from each other for a week. He seemed to think this was going to somehow get me pregnant.

H

Aftermath: I tried to talk to him a few times, but gave up when he refused. We never spoke again. Ever.

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“At least he was clean…”

best of sex

After sex, I asked him why he spent so much time in the bathroom before returning to bed, and he said “I had to wash my genitals.”

—Lolita

Aftermath: It ended one month later, which was one month too long.

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“Unwelcome Twin”

quirks

It was over when she told me that she was jealous of the relationship I had with my identical twin and that my twin was no longer welcome in our home.

C-Bean

Aftermath: I walked out with my twin and said, “Well, my relationship is ending tonight.” About two hours later, it was over, though her drama dragged on for 4 more months!


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“Sniffing Redux”

best of weird

She caught me sniffing her daughter’s dildo.

—John

Aftermath: I moved my crap out the next day.

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