I knew it was over when he admitted that he voted for George Dubya both times. He tried to justify his reasoning, but I don’t date Republicans.


Aftermath: I stuck around for one more make-out session then called it quits.

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“Chicken Dinner”

best of manners

I knew it was over when he called me up and told me to bring him chicken dinner and to also bring over some lotion so that I can give him a foot rub and a handjob! I only knew him for a week!!

Aftermath: After that, I got off the phone with him and I changed my number. I only saw him once after that. He tried to flag me down and I floored it.

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“Couldn’t Stand”


I knew it was over when I couldn’t stand talking to him on the phone or having him over after 3 days of “going steady.”


Aftermath: We dated for 2 months after that.

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“Funny Story”


On my birthday I received a text. He said, “So I have a funny story to tell you.” Who knew that a funny story involved him sleeping with my best friend who was a “lesbian”?

—Birthday girl

Aftermath: Consequently the relationship was over. In the year, my ex received some decent karma when his girlfriend cheated on him and left him for the same girl that he left me for.

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