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“Didn’t have a sock handy”

best of clashes

There was somthing stuck together and crunchy on my pajama top. I asked him if he masturbated on my clothes and he said “no,” then started laughing.

— Kristie

Aftermath: I urinated in his gallon of ice tea.

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“Leave of Absence”

chemistry

After two years she sent me this text: “I have decided to take a personal leave of absence due to personal issues.”

— Bob

Aftermath: I was the personal issue.


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“Breakfast commitment”

clashes

She was going to make me breakfast and asked what I wanted. When I told her I didn’t know, she asked, “If you can’t commit to breakfast, how can you ever commit to me?”

— Adam

Aftermath: It ended about a month later after endless fights about nothing.

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“Hulkmania”

best of quirks

I came home and saw my husband working on some type of project. He was making a WWE wrestler belt out of an old pizza box, gold paint, and a Sharpie.

— Amber

Aftermath: He spent three days working on it. My dog got a hold of it, chewed it up, and he made another one. I divorced him shortly after but I kept my dog.

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“Third Wheel”

secrets!

A friend found a pair of earrings in my boyfriend’s truck and asked whether I was missing a pair of silver hoops. I wasn’t.  I went to his house and snooped around on his computer and found photos of other women.

— Jennifer

Aftermath: Not only did he have another girlfriend, he was married too, making me the third woman. I never looked back.


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