“Tea Bag”

best of weird

I got up to go get a glass of water and came back into my bedroom to find my boyfriend on his knees proceeding to tea bag my sleeping friend.


Aftermath: Needless to say, I told him to zip up his pants and leave.

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“(Not so) Sizzler”

best of manners

On our first date, I let her decide where she wanted to eat dinner. She picked Sizzler because she wanted some “good steak.” While there she asked the waiter for a job application and proceeds to fill it out at the table during our date.


Aftermath: We still spent the night together, because…well, I’m a guy. But I never talked to her again after that. The whole thing was odd.

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“Birthday Double Whammy”

best of weird

I’d been in the relationship for a few months and it was going nowhere. I invited here out to dinner so I could call it off in a public place. She took it harder than expected; I’d forgotten it was her birthday.


Aftermath: We got back together months later, and when I knew it was over, again, I waited an extra two weeks so I could break up on her birthday again.

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“Miss Edjumacated”

best of clashes

We were hanging out, and trying to make small talk I asked her who she voted for. She said nobody but it “definitely wouldn’t have been Obama because isn’t he a Muslim or something?”


Aftermath: We hung out a couple more times but it ended after we shared a painfully awkward kiss and she told everyone we were dating. We weren’t.

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“Sugar Mama”


I had a boyfriend of 2 years who lived in my house. I asked him to help pay for things like groceries and utilities. I didn’t ask for help with the mortgage or anything major. I realized it was over when he would spend his last few dollars on beer, weed and cigarettes and never helped me with any of the groceries or utilities. I don’t think I was unreasonable. He was living rent free & I was his sugar mama!!


Aftermath: We were together another couple of months before I asked him to leave for a week. He came back after the break week but didn’t make any effort to act differently, so I kicked him out after two weeks.

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