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“Bright Red”

best of manners

We were dating and he excused himself to go to the bathroom, came back, started kissing me, and the distinct smell of sh*t was in the air. I asked him if he’d washed his hands, he turned bright red, and embarrassingly walked away to wash them. After he has groped me and kissed my face.

—KRod

Aftermath: 3 1/2 years later, many skid marks, and smelly rooms later…and we’re still married. I’m filing for divorce next month.

This post was submitted by KRod.

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“Obituary”

best of secrets!

It should have been over the day I found out he had created a Match.com account “just to see if anyone would respond.” Fast forward 6 years of never-completely-off / never-completely-sure-if-we-were-on, his father was terminally ill. I feel awful for him and agree to “try again” because he swore I was what was missing in his life, and the only one for him…

—FARM

Aftermath: Reading his father’s obituary, he was listed as having a wife. A what? I sent my condolences to him and his wife via text message, along with the fact that I never wanted to hear from him again.

This post was submitted by FARM.


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“Crappy Present”

best of weird

After a four-year relationship, he gave me a toilet seat for my birthday present. He said: “I knew you needed one and I couldn’t think of what else to get you.” And he didn’t even wrap it!

—Wanda

Aftermath: Unfortunately, I’m reminded of him every day, actually several times a day.

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“Warcraft”

best of chemistry

I knew it was over when he bought me a copy of World of Warcraft for my 18th birthday.

—AllyCatraz

Aftermath: It officially ended on our two-year anniversary, when he called me to say he wouldn’t be picking me up from work because he “just got into a group for a raid” in on the online game. We’re still friends though.


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“Wasn’t Worth It”

manners

Four months in, he asked if he could stay with me while working in my town. Two months stretched into six, then he said he had another job coming up and wanted to continue living with me. He had just settled out of court for custody of his kid, so I knew he was no longer saving money for a lawyer. I asked him to contribute 1/3 of the rent in my new apartment. He told me it “wasn’t worth it” to him to pay $350/month to stay.

—RC

Aftermath: I said it “wasn’t worth it” to me to date a freeloader and kicked him out. Two days later, he got back with the ex even though he had spent a year talking about how much he hated her. I guess the free rent at her mom’s house is “worth it.”

This post was submitted by RC.


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