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“I’m just bloated”

best of secrets!

It was over when she could no longer hide the growing fullness of her belly. I had had a vasectomy three years earlier.

–James

Aftermath: Her lies revealed and my suspicions confirmed, she moved in with her baby-daddy.


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“Chow”

best of chemistry

She couldn’t cook, I love to. Great dinner on the stove, she pops the fridge and proceeds to chow down on chips and dip. Then, “I’m not hungry.”

–Chris

Aftermath: Things went downhill from there pretty fast. Serious heartburn, but hey, life goes on. Always vet the eating habits. The good part: Funny, exciting, ooh the sex. The breakup came after 4 months living together. No amount of bed fun can outweigh something you do three times daily.

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“Marrow”

best of manners

First blind date: He ordered ribs and I ordered chicken. After eating the ribs,  with BBQ sauce still all over his face, he starts trying to break the bones to suck out the marrow. Then, he reached over and started eating from my plate before saying, “You’re done with this right? Cause you didn’t eat.” He finished our dinner.

–Kat

Aftermath: I left him while going to the bathroom. I never responded to his calls or messages. He wanted me to know I was the best thing that came into his life and I should be his girlfriend. His friends called me, texted and harassed me on MySpace for 2 months.

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“Wrap Party”

best of chemistry

I went to a wrap party for a TV show he was working on and everyone I met kept commenting, half-jokingly, to me about how I seemed too cool and nice to be engaged to such an a**hole (their word, not mine). After about conversation #5, a light went off in my head.

–Anastasia

Aftermath: I dumped him about a week later. When his co-workers think he’s a jerk, he probably is.

This post was submitted by Anastasia.

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“Tattoo”

chemistry

She was my first real love, I was her second. Our relationship was on the rocks after nearly three years. She told me she wanted a tattoo. I told her I didn’t like the idea. She didn’t care about what I thought or about me.

–Adam

Aftermath: Her first love came back into town after going away to university and boning everything that moved. She went back to him, but refused to tell me there wasn’t a chance for us so as to “not hurt me.”

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