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“English”

quirks

She said, “Sometimes when I speak English too much, I get a headache.” I know one language…English.

—Lolo

Aftermath: First and final date.

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“Social Anxiety”

best of clashes

My best friend’s mom died when we were 17. My boyfriend at the time was a friend of hers too, and we both went out of state to be with her for the funeral. He spent the whole weekend whining about his social anxiety disorder and how he hated the food everyplace we wentin front of my friend who had just lost her mother.

Alissa

Aftermath: It lasted two more months. I talked to him less and less while he whined about how much he missed me, and then I met someone else at a ballroom dance class.


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“Bum Money”

quirks

He was living rent-free with his mother and was always broke. I chalked it up to his bad employment luck and confusion over what to do with his life. I should have known when he’d work a 4-hour shift and complain for an hour, then snap at me if I tried to commiserate over my 8-hour shift. It wasn’t until he came into a few thousand bucks and had to bum money for bus fare 3 months later. He then complained about spending money on my birthday.

Red

Aftermath: I got sick of carting his a** around, and 6 months later, he started getting violent. I married a wonderful man he introduced me to.


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“Doubling Up”

best of sex

He got mad at me for doubling up on birth control to postpone my period so we could have sex after being away from each other for a week. He seemed to think this was going to somehow get me pregnant.

H

Aftermath: I tried to talk to him a few times, but gave up when he refused. We never spoke again. Ever.

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“At least he was clean…”

best of sex

After sex, I asked him why he spent so much time in the bathroom before returning to bed, and he said “I had to wash my genitals.”

—Lolita

Aftermath: It ended one month later, which was one month too long.

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