“WINNER! 1, 2, 3… 9, 10, 11”


My wife and I were sitting around drinking with a bunch of friends. The subject came up over how many times in the last week each couple had sex. My wife went into deep thought, counting on her fingers and then blurted out a number that was more than twice what I had come up with. After I quizzically mentioned my number the look on her face and her whispered “Oh S#!t” was all that needed to be said. The party broke up with everyone apologizing to me.

Aftermath: I now call her my ex-wife. She is almost 40, preggers and misses me. Ahhhh… too bad.

This post was submitted by Scott.

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best of secrets!

We had been looking at homes for a few months and finally found one. After talking about the mortgage, she wouldn’t co-sign the house with me. Less than week of moving in to the house together, the nude photographs she sent to her online gaming friends showed up in my email inbox.


Aftermath: Moved out a month later, and never talked to her again.

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We were in the middle of our equally appreciated morning sex, when she stopped and informed me she could not continue until I apologized to her for the position I chose to sleep in after a night of drinking together.


Aftermath: I gave her everything I had for 19 months, a week after this occurrence I gave up hoping she would figure herself out. She had some serious self esteem issues. I recommended therapy, but she blamed me for it all. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m still in love with who she could be.

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“WINNER! Cartoon Sing Along”

best of quirks

I was on a blind date. We had time to kill before the movie at the mall. We were walking around and small-talking in the electronics department of a store. They were playing an old Bugs Bunny cartoon. To get a laugh, I sang along with the song that Bugs was singing. She looked at me in an odd way. I explained that I had the song on a CD. That only made it worse.


Aftermath: Cartoon Boy didn’t get a second date.

This post was submitted by Frank.

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“Exotic Massage”

best of secrets!

My friends were going through the (gay) exotic massages and other sexual offers on Craigslist and laughing at how funny some of them sounded. They got to one that had a familiar number. It was my boyfriend’s number.

—Jane Doe

Aftermath: Had a guy friend set up a time and place to meet him. I was there too and broke up with him.

This post was submitted by Jane Doe.

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