“Geriatric Ovaries”

best of manners

It was over when he told me I had geriatric ovaries. He proceeded to tell me that women who haven’t had children by the time they were 30 are actually considered geriatric and their chance of having Down syndrome babies increases by 30%.


Aftermath: He invited me back to his place for baklava and whiskey because it increased my chances of having a baby without Down syndrome. I declined and never spoke to him again.

This post was submitted by Katherine.

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“WINNER! High-larious”

best of clashes

It was over when I got a bag of weed with little hearts drawn on it for Valentine’s Day. I don’t smoke…


Aftermath: After reminding him that I don’t smoke, he suggested we go out and sell it. We broke up shortly after.

This post was submitted by SeelyD.

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“WINNER! Frisky”

best of sex

My wife came home from working at a truck stop as a waitress. We talked about her day and then I started kissing her and getting frisky. She was all excited so, as she stood in front of, me I undid her pants and started to pull them off. I got her pants to her knees when something wet landed on my hand, I looked down and to my horror I saw a used rubber.


Aftermath: I got up, packed her stuff and threw her out and 3 months later I was divorced.

This post was submitted by Randy.

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“WINNER! Control Freak”

best of weird

At our wedding reception, he pulled me aside chewed me out and called me slut because my wedding dress showed too much cleavage, even though the lace went from top of cleavage to neck.

—Young and Dumb

Aftermath: Stayed married for 10 years with out being able to wear shorts, makeup, tank tops or any type of v-neck shirt without being called a slut. Guess I’m a slow learner but happy as hell when I could finally wear shorts in 100 degree weather.

This post was submitted by young and dumb.

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“WINNER! Second Coming”

best of weird

On our second date, she informed me she was pregnant. Mind you, we didn’t do a damn thing. After I pointed this out, she claimed it to be an Immaculate Conception. And I’m quoting her, “I might be the next Virgin Mary.” I just walked out of the restaurant.


Aftermath: It was high school. Got some jackass to date her and the live in some trailer park. Oh and she was never pregnant, just stupid.

This post was submitted by jloco.

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