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“First Date Rules?”

clashes

At the end of our first date, we had sex. On the second date, she started calling me her boyfriend. When I confronted her, she began crying and proceeded to yell at me in public.

Adam

Aftermath: It ended right then and there. Don’t sleep with men on the first date and expect a boyfriend.

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“Firm Objections”

best of sex

All this happened during a third date: He persistently poked me hard in the ribs, despite my firm objections, attempted to pick my nose several times (again, objections were expressed), and when I was just about to say “I don’t think this going to work out,” he got up, sauntered into his bedroom and said “I’m going to bed. When you come in, be naked.”

—Laura

Aftermath: I left quietly as soon as he closed the door. Never heard from him again.

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“Packing”

quirks secrets! sex

In high school, I had the biggest crush on this guy. He was so cute! Fast forward two years after high school and I saw him at the club. To make a long story short, we hooked up that night–only to find out he wasn’t packing at all down there! I faked everything.

—Jiesselle

Aftermath: I tried to be nice afterward but I couldn’t, so I stopped talking to him.

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“Art Critic”

manners

I sent him some of my artwork and it took him about three seconds before he started criticizing it. I finally got him to just tell me that it all sucked. From that point on, I gave up on art—even though he kept pressuring me to do collaborations with him.

—Heather

Aftermath: That is, until I broke up with him eleven months later. Now I draw all day, and have fun with it. Without him.

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“Mustang Misses”

best of secrets!

I was showing off my brand new Mustang, she asked for the keys. I could hear the engine rev down the street and then stop. The dog and I took a walk, and found the car—my girlfriend was on the hood with her neighbor’s hand very far up her skirt.

—Bob

Aftermath: I drove home five hours devastated. We got back together a month later; she did it again. That was the final end.

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