“Not the Baby Daddy”


Before leaving for college my girlfriend and I decided to keep dating exclusively while apart. At Thanksgiving break, she came home and asked me to assist her with an abortion from a pregnancy conceived away at college…

— Bill

Aftermath: I went with her to the clinic and was harassed by the staff on how I could have prevented this if I was more responsible. I never spoke to her again.

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“Oh, by the way…”


She broke it off after 6 years. We saw each other off and on for a year. Two weeks later she tells me she’s dating someone. Two months later she tells me she loves me and always will. Then out of the blue she calls and tells me she’s getting married. *Insert drinking* She calls me four days later and says…“Oh and I’m pregnant.”

— Kevin

Aftermath: I’m selling the engagement ring (I held on to it) and when I do, Vegas Baby!

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“It’s a Sign!”


The church caught fire during the wedding. The wedding was successful – the marriage wasn’t.

— Babz

Aftermath: He has moved on and I am now a firefighter – go figure!

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“Not so rose(y) bowl”


On New Year’s Day I had severe case of alcohol poisoning and my boyfriend asked if it was alright to go over to a friend’s house to watch the Rose Bowl. He went and didn’t come home until that night.

— Emily

Aftermath: We broke up. One week after that I found out he had a new girlfriend.

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“I married a Witch”

best of clashes

After six years of marriage, two of which saw me as an associate pastor, she announced that she is, and had been a practicing Wiccan, complete with a witch name and a regularly scheduled meeting place for her coven.

— cluelessinohio

Aftermath: Three years after our divorce, my girlfriend cut her finger and joked that “maybe there’s a curse on me!”

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