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“Dry Spells”

best of sex

I have that one ex who I still keep in touch with to get me through the “dry spells.” But, being a girl, I sometimes confuse this with a relationship and get upset when he doesn’t call. This last time, I decided it was over when I looked at my phone and realized that in the 3 weeks since we had “reconnected.”  He never called and only sent text messages late on Friday nights.

—Lindsey

Aftermath: It’s embarrassing that this has happened so many times, but what can I say? I’ll let you know the aftermath in 3 months or so.

This post was submitted by lindsey.

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“Hourglass”

best of clashes

I met a really attractive and intelligent woman at a public event at an art gallery. We had been talking for a good half hour and really seemed to be hitting it off. Then, I commented that she had a “nice, full, hourglass figure.” I thought she would take it as a compliment, but instead she became deeply offended. She snapped, “Oh really…well, perhaps I should do some plus-size modeling!” I went into damage control mode and tried to clarify my comments but only exacerbated things when I used the term “healthy.”

—Kevin

Aftermath: With a look of complete disgust, she slapped my face and departed. I will never forget those agonizing seconds in the immediate aftermath, as I was standing there alone rubbing my cheek, drawing some judgmental stares from onlookers. Needless to say, it was not my proudest moment, LOL.

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“Valentine Hazing”

best of manners

It was over when he canceled our dinner plans so he could haze his fraternity’s pledges. On Valentine’s Day.

—M.

Aftermath: I’m never dating a frat boy again.

This post was submitted by M. .


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““Sheet” stain”

best of manners

His mother disliked me and we were secretly seeing each other. He had reserved a room for me at the local motel…We fooled around, then he got up to go to the bathroom, returned, sat on the bed, got dressed and left. Then, I noticed something on the sheets. He hadn’t thoroughly wiped and had left diarrhea stains.

—Ericka

Aftermath: I knew right then that I couldn’t be with someone who was ashamed of me, and I definitely couldn’t be with someone who couldn’t properly wipe their own ass. I broke up with him about ten minutes later via AIM. He tried to convince me to reconsider, but there were other problems far before that. His mother was always wiping his ass for him, so I guess he didn’t know how to do anything for himself.

This post was submitted by Ericka.

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“Mountain Mama”

best of weird

It was a long-distance relationship. One summer he took me on a trip to West Virginia. We stayed in a huge cabin that he’d been to before, hiked trails he’d hiked before, and had a lot of impersonal sex. He barely talked to me the whole trip. I realized that he was trying to relive a relationship with his ex-girlfriend, who had left him over a year ago.

—Chanelle

Aftermath: When I finally got home, I called him to dump him.

This post was submitted by Chanelle.


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