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“Sucker Puncher”

best of clashes

A short time after moving in together, we were arguing and she flipped over a bucket full of Pine Sol water I was holding, getting it all over me and nearly ruining her loveseat. Later that day, she got in my face and clinched her fist like she was going to hit me.

—B

Aftermath: She hit me twice … a few months later. I had just broken up with her and, from three feet away, she through her phone at my face. Then she sucker punched me while I was tending to my eye, which was closed up. We don’t speak anymore.

This post was submitted by -B.

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“Redneck Virgin”

best of chemistry

He liked me so much that I agreed to date him. The first red flag should have been that he was a 34 year old virgin. The second should have been that he shouted racial slurs at the television when minorities were pictured. And, finally, he had a confederate flag on his truck. The last straw was when he didn’t think I should have any friends, so that I could be available to him at all times.

—Sarah

Aftermath: I picked a fight with him on a topic that I knew would make him so mad he would walk out. He tried to make up the next day but I said it was over. He said that he still wanted to date me even though he didn’t like me as a person.

This post was submitted by Sarah.


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“Maid of (dis)honor”

best of secrets!

Six months before the wedding, I finally discovered why my fiance wouldn’t let me in the room when he was on the computer. He was having an online affair with my best friend (and my maid of honor) who was overseas at the time. I was the last one to know, as apparently it had been going on for almost a year.

—Sarah

Aftermath: I may have made a few death threats at the time that resulted in her sprinting in the other direction when we ran into each other on the street. They ended up getting married, and he cheats on her now. I am so relieved that I didn’t end up with someone so insecure that he needs to sleep around to feel like a big man.

This post was submitted by Sarah.

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“Alone”

chemistry

We were spending a week near a lake, and one night sitting on a bench on the shore, full moon, beautiful romantic night, hand in hand, with a wonderful glass of wine. She said she was very thankful for me bringing her here and spending this week together. Right after this, she asked to be alone for a few minutes.

—B.

Aftermath: The next day we went home and instead of spending the rest of the week together, she went out with her friends without inviting me. I called her and heard her drunk friends singing in the background. I yelled with her for a few minutes, then never called her again.

This post was submitted by B..

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“Smells like Trouble”

best of quirks

She turns to me after we finish having sex and said, “You don’t have a smell, and having a guy smell is very important to me.”

—Steve-o

Aftermath: I laughed and said I could either fart more or shower. To this day have no freaking clue what she was talking about. We kept hooking up until she starting seeing another guy, who I assume had whatever smell she was looking for.

This post was submitted by Steve-o.

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