After a year of dating I finally told him I loved him, he said “Why did you say that to me?”

— LittleE

Aftermath: I dumped him and told him I was ready for someone who was emotionally ready for me.

She came from a dentist appointment and said, “The dentist said eventually I’m going to lose all my teeth. You should decide now if you can deal with that.”

— acidbrat

Aftermath: I broke up with her a month later, not because of her imminent dental demise, but because she was a soul-sucking psycho. No word on whether or not she still has teeth.

I dropped him off at his house and instead of saying goodbye he said “You know, you’re 99.9% perfect for me but you’re not from Prairie Village.”

— LilBritches

Aftermath: I couldn’t be more excited to be from elsewhere…

I got a “cooking for one” book from my wife for Christmas. Didn’t get it until I found out she was dating someone else.

— jake

Aftermath: Try not to talk to or see the tramp.

He lost his job as a manager at Subway for inappropriately touching a 17-year-old employee.

— nicole

Aftermath: He said she was lying. I asked for a divorce. Now his 18-year-old girlfriend that he met at his new job is pregnant. He’s 32.