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“Counter Attack”

best of weird

It was over when I came home and found a Ziploc bag filled with poo left on my kitchen counter next to a note “Had a great time—you rocked my night! xxx” with her phone number. She had broken the toilet and I guess was too mortified to leave her business in the bowl, so she scooped it out, bagged it and forgot it on the counter.

—Bill

Aftermath: I never heard from her again, but her roommate told me she was devastated. We really did have great chemistry, but in the end…

This post was submitted by Bill B.

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“Guatemala”

secrets!

Our mediocre, long-distance, barely sexual relationship had crossed the one-year mark when he informed me he’d decided to spend his summer off learning Spanish in Guatemala instead of with me. Regardless, I tried to be supportive. When his emails grew increasingly brief a few weeks into his study abroad, I scheduled a mandatory phone date, and caught him in a lie: He’d met someone and cheated. I hung up, packed up his things and ignored the weak stream of apologetic emails and voicemails that followed.

—lauren

Aftermath: We never saw each other again. Through the grapevine I learned he got married less than a year later…and had a baby. (Oops.) I have since met the man of my dreams and, as much as we love traveling together, we will never go to Guatemala.

This post was submitted by lauren.

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“Affection for pizza”

weird

I picked him up, drunk and high, from an underage party. We went to a friend’s place where he was completely unaffectionate, but got ridiculously excited when pizza was delivered. When he finally did sit by me, it couldn’t have been more than 15 mins before he moved to the chair next to the couch, and then proceeded to pass out until I woke him to take him to his car, where he slept it off till morning.

—Kendra

Aftermath: I told him I couldn’t be his girlfriend anymore about a week later, but we fooled around a couple times after that.

This post was submitted by Kendra.

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“Louisiana”

secrets!

It was over when I found out he had a wife and kids in Louisiana!

marcie

Aftermath: It ended right then and there for me…he continued to try and get me back for 3 years but not ever leaving his wife.

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“Thanksgiving”

secrets!

I had been dating my boyfriend for 6 months when a discussion of the impending holidays came up. He hesitated to fully commit to an answer about me joining him for what would’ve been our first Thanksgiving together with his kids and his family out of state. I later discovered his hesitation was because his ex-wife would be joining them.

—Carissa

Aftermath: We have been off and on ever since, but without any real commitment.

This post was submitted by Carissa .

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