best of clashes
For my boyfriend’s birthday I had gone to a lot of trouble and told him we needed to leave the house by 6:30 or the night’s events would be derailed. At 6:30, I was sitting on the couch, ready to go. He came out and whined that his hair wasn’t working and said he needed to re-wash it. When he re-washed it two more times (for a total of four hair washings and another hour delay), I knew we were done.
Aftermath: All I could see was how high maintenance he was and we broke up a few months later.
This post was submitted by Elizabeth.
My husband and I were having sex on the couch, me straddling him. His small dick slipped out of me and went in between our bellies. He didn’t notice and kept thrusting. He finished about a minute later.
Aftermath: I stayed married to him for 3 more years trying to make it work. Turned out he had been gay since he was a teenager. I was his beard.
This post was submitted by Lauren.
best of weird
On our second date, we had just ordered our drinks. She took this time to tell me that she and her kids thought I would make a great step dad.
Aftermath: It was over before the waitress took our meal order.
This post was submitted by Doug.
best of manners
A month into the relationship, we went to the pool and afterward he asked me why I had stretch marks. I said, I was probably 40 pounds heavier before he knew me. He proceeded with the question, “Did you have a baby? You had a baby, that’s why you have stretch marks.”
Aftermath: I was 17. I was not pregnant, I was just fat. I dumped him a few days later. He broke into my house to watch me sleep and profess that we were meant to be together. I got a restraining order because he started to stalk me.
This post was submitted by kat.
We were camping on Martha’s Vineyard before the season started with very little to do. One day we decided to have a beer in town. Some local guys were hanging out in the bar and she started flirting the moment we sat down. This was typical behavior for her and I hated it. After she suggested we invite them over, I figured enough was enough. I told her I was walking and she told me she was staying. So I left and sat outside. She came out shortly, totally freaked out that I left her in a dangerous situation.
Aftermath: She stormed off toward the ferry to leave me on the island with our camping equipment. On the way, she realized she had a tick behind her ear and needed me to remove it. This moment of vulnerability and the resulting gratitude sucked me into another couple of months.
This post was submitted by Tom.