weird

 

“Tattoo Sleeves”

weird

I knew it was over when he started wearing fake tattoo sleeves and thought my best friend (who is a male) was pimping me out.

—Chloe

Aftermath: It ended within a month

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“All the People”

best of weird

I frequented a local watering hole where this lovely, petite bar maiden worked. I was smitten with her. After a few weeks of wearing her down, I finally got her to agree to a date. I made her dinner and we watched a movie. She ended up spending the night. She woke me up at 3 a.m. to ask me why I had let all the people in the room. There were no people in the room.

Spally

Aftermath: She spent the next two days on my front porch. I ducked out the back of my house and went to stay with friends until I could get a friend of hers to come and convince her to leave.


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““Touch Base” phone call”

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We had been dating long distance and in the first month, he stopped saying “I love you.” I left the country to study abroad for four months. Two weeks later, I received an e-mail saying that he felt “smothered” and “suffocated.” At this point I was 4,000 miles away, we were e-mailing every other day, and we were in an open relationship. He wanted space while I was away and said he would call to “touch base” after my return.

— Kristina

Aftermath: It was over before I finished reading the e-mail. He commented that he expected me to respond with a series of heated e-mails, so I didn’t. We still haven’t communicated. I return shortly and I think I’ll enjoy screening the “touch base” phone call.


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“Baby Talk”

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We’d only been official for a few days when he started saying “ILU” and “I heart you” to me, which I just ignored. The moment I knew I couldn’t overlook it anymore was when we were cuddling and he said “I wuuuuvvv you” to me in baby talk.

Erin

Aftermath: Two days later, he came over to talk. My roomie was there but he didn’t think privacy was necessary, so I wrote out that I wanted to break up with him on an index card. We hugged silently and he left.

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“Princess & the pee”

best of weird

I had a dream where I was a princess and he was a commoner. He took me away from my life cooped up in the palace and I was free, freer than ever before as we rode away on a white horse. Then we dismounted in a secluded glade, and he started peeing on my feet. No matter where I moved or how I tried to get away, he kept pissing on my feet and laughing at how upset I was getting. Things have been going downhill for a while, but I woke up with a light bulb over my head after that.

Nia

Aftermath: The end is in sight.

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