weird

 

“Yo-Yo”

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I destroyed myself over this boy, who was a f**king yo-yo. First, he was in love with me, then not-feeling-it, then we were friends-who-cuddle, then I-don’t-have-those-feelings-anymore, then we-are-soulmates. Problem was: After the soulmate phase, we went different directions for summer and he got a girlfriend and didn’t bother to mention it to me until the fall. But he hopes we could still be great friends. Oh, and he “still has feelings” and wanted to come see me to “talk it out.”

—Morgan

Aftermath: He still wants to be friends. I don’t. A waste of 2 years of my life.

This post was submitted by morgan.


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“Lake Superior”

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I once met a girl at a bar. Actually it was an open bar. Dangerous stuff. We went back to her apartment. The next morning the bed was covered with pee. Every square inch soaked. Even the pillows were wet. It was either her, or me, or her fat angry cat.  I suspect the cat. We didn’t talk about the elephant in the room, or the Lake Superior on her bed.

—Jack Diamond

Aftermath: There was no second “date.”

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“Tea Bag”

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I got up to go get a glass of water and came back into my bedroom to find my boyfriend on his knees proceeding to tea bag my sleeping friend.

Holly

Aftermath: Needless to say, I told him to zip up his pants and leave.


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“Birthday Double Whammy”

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I’d been in the relationship for a few months and it was going nowhere. I invited here out to dinner so I could call it off in a public place. She took it harder than expected; I’d forgotten it was her birthday.

—Jon

Aftermath: We got back together months later, and when I knew it was over, again, I waited an extra two weeks so I could break up on her birthday again.

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“Bad Timing”

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I was in mourning over a kid who had died from heat stroke. I didn’t know him personally, but the thought of dying so young got to me. I was crying on my boyfriend’s couch, and he tried to console me. Then, he put my hand on his crotch and tried to make me give him a handjob while I was sobbing. Hot.

Nicky

Aftermath: Thankfully, his grandmother came in so he threw my hand off. It lasted maybe 3 months afterward, and there is no justifying that duration.


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