weird

 

“Afterward”

best of weird

We were together for eight years. On our second wedding anniversary, he told me he was moving out and wanted a divorce. Then he asked if we could still date afterward.

—Amanda

Aftermath: The last time I voluntarily saw him was when we signed the divorce papers. Single life is hard for me, but it’s better than being married to him.


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“If, then”

weird

She cried, “If I can’t have you when you’re sober, then you can’t have me when you’re drunk!”  The next day, she promised never to cross the bounds of our friendship again. Needless to say, she did but I wasn’t having it and moved on.

–Allen

Aftermath: She’s back with the guy she broke up with me for, hopefully happy. I’m so happy with my new girl, who is everything I could ever want sober or otherwise.

This post was submitted by Allen.


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“Murse”

best of weird

Not only did he have a man purse (aka a ‘murse’), which I could have dealt with, but he also exclaimed he could foot the dinner bill because “this place is cheap.” And then as we parted, he pulled a jar of chunky peanut butter out of his murse, gave it to me, and told me, “It reminded me of you.”

Missi

Aftermath: I tossed the peanut butter and never saw him or his murse again.

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“Counter Attack”

best of weird

It was over when I came home and found a Ziploc bag filled with poo left on my kitchen counter next to a note “Had a great time—you rocked my night! xxx” with her phone number. She had broken the toilet and I guess was too mortified to leave her business in the bowl, so she scooped it out, bagged it and forgot it on the counter.

—Bill

Aftermath: I never heard from her again, but her roommate told me she was devastated. We really did have great chemistry, but in the end…

This post was submitted by Bill B.

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“Affection for pizza”

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I picked him up, drunk and high, from an underage party. We went to a friend’s place where he was completely unaffectionate, but got ridiculously excited when pizza was delivered. When he finally did sit by me, it couldn’t have been more than 15 mins before he moved to the chair next to the couch, and then proceeded to pass out until I woke him to take him to his car, where he slept it off till morning.

—Kendra

Aftermath: I told him I couldn’t be his girlfriend anymore about a week later, but we fooled around a couple times after that.

This post was submitted by Kendra.

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