“The Others”

best of weird

We were cuddling on his couch watching The Others and he said…“I could keep you here forever!” It was our first date…


Aftermath: He called me the next Saturday over a dozen times and I ignored him. He finally gave up.

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“Bottom of the Ocean”

best of weird

I dated this gal for a few weeks. She told me that she would swim to the bottom of the ocean for me. I told her that her head would explode. She said it would be worth it for me.

—Mr. E

Aftermath: Nice to be held in that regard, but I got the hell out of Dodge!

This post was submitted by Mr E.

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best of weird

My first shot at online dating was with a guy who was a sideshow performer. Despite the odd job, he was cute and polite. Then during our date he proceeded to speak in different accents, tell me about his frequent visits to “massage parlors,” and constantly pat his face with a hanky from his pocket. He also talked nonstop, especially about his failed 4-year relationship. I ignored the negative signs and invited him to a party a week later where he made joking references to me being a dog and told me to eat the dog’s food.


Aftermath: We lived an hour apart so I didn’t have to feel obligated to see him again. I eventually began ignoring his calls. Suffice to say, I’m done with online dating.

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“Bob Dylan Happy Dance”

best of weird

We were listening to some Bob Dylan over breakfast. Out of nowhere he jumped up from the sofa and danced around the room whilst pulling his hair, shaking his head from side to side and shouting “Yes!!” For 3 songs solid. When I asked what he was doing, he said: “It’s how I express myself when I’m happy, and if you don’t love my dancing then you don’t love me…”

–Guys Shouldn’t Bounce

Aftermath: I ended it soon after via email. Mean, I know. But if that was his ‘happy dance’ I dread to think what being upset would do to him.

This post was submitted by Guys shouldn't bounce.

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best of weird

We were together for eight years. On our second wedding anniversary, he told me he was moving out and wanted a divorce. Then he asked if we could still date afterward.


Aftermath: The last time I voluntarily saw him was when we signed the divorce papers. Single life is hard for me, but it’s better than being married to him.

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