“Wedding Chapel”

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He partied a lot and I was getting out of a 5-year relationship, so I wasn’t looking for anything. We took a last-minute trip to Vegas for my birthday. On the 2nd day of our 6-day trip, he took me to the little white wedding chapel and actually asked me to marry him. Of course, he was crazed out on all sorts of pills and he fell over while proposing! I left him on the ground and told him it wasn’t going to work out.


Aftermath: I had the best time in Vegas after leaving him. I got an upgraded room thanks to winnings. We sat on the plane together and he said I would have to take a taxi home because I had no friends. Of course, my ride showed up before his.

This post was submitted by Paula.

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“New in Town”

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We moved to a new city together and soon I started making new friends. He didn’t and he became very suspicious. In fact, one night he asked my co-workers if I was “really at work,” followed me home from work and inspected my underwear when I was taking a shower. It promptly ended that night.


Aftermath: I had to live with his crazy behavior for the next three months afterward until I could move into a new place.

This post was submitted by Nicole.

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“The Others”

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We were cuddling on his couch watching The Others and he said…“I could keep you here forever!” It was our first date…


Aftermath: He called me the next Saturday over a dozen times and I ignored him. He finally gave up.

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“Bottom of the Ocean”

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I dated this gal for a few weeks. She told me that she would swim to the bottom of the ocean for me. I told her that her head would explode. She said it would be worth it for me.

—Mr. E

Aftermath: Nice to be held in that regard, but I got the hell out of Dodge!

This post was submitted by Mr E.

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best of weird

My first shot at online dating was with a guy who was a sideshow performer. Despite the odd job, he was cute and polite. Then during our date he proceeded to speak in different accents, tell me about his frequent visits to “massage parlors,” and constantly pat his face with a hanky from his pocket. He also talked nonstop, especially about his failed 4-year relationship. I ignored the negative signs and invited him to a party a week later where he made joking references to me being a dog and told me to eat the dog’s food.


Aftermath: We lived an hour apart so I didn’t have to feel obligated to see him again. I eventually began ignoring his calls. Suffice to say, I’m done with online dating.

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