weird

 

“Warlock”

best of weird

He told me that he was a warlock and had magical powers.

—Christy

Aftermath: After I heard this, I stayed as far away from this man as possible.

5

“Hiding in the bushes”

weird

She claimed I had a “crew” that videotaped everything that happened in my apartment. There was also the “police hiding in the bushes” thing. Drugs and/or alcohol may have been involved.

—Bornbad

Aftermath: Ended up married with two kids, then divorced.

5

“Monty Python”

best of weird

About two months into the relationship, we were cuddling on the couch watching “Monty Python” and he spilled a glass of ice water on me. I yelled at him for being a klutz. After drying off, I came back in the room and apologized. He forgave me, and gave me a comforting hug. A few minutes later, when I pointed out how sweet he was, he told me that he knew I can’t help what I say because of the chip the government has implanted in my brain.

—Atta

Aftermath: I’m an assertive girl, but assertion doesn’t work with crazies. I told him I was going to backpack Europe and left. He sent me several long emails and a few tearful voicemails, but I didn’t respond.

4

“Pass the oatmeal”

weird

I asked my boyfriend of two months to pass me the oatmeal in his 300 square foot studio. Bemoaning that my laziness would make him late for work, he called me a c*** while snapping my toothbrush in half, just inches from my face. After his tirade, he lay on the floor sweating and hyperventilating, which is what really made him late.

—Amy

Aftermath: We lasted two years, which was seriously skewed judgment on my part.

4

“I am warrior”

best of weird

I walked into his room and found swords hanging on his walls—legitimate samurai swords. When I asked him about it, he had a distant look on his face, and said “I am warrior.” Not “I am a warrior”—just “I am warrior.” Needless to say, I was frightened…and confused.

—Maddy

Aftermath: It lasted about two days after that. I gently ended it of course, after being a bit frightened for my life.

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