We both looked at a spot on the edge of the bed and realized that he had left poo skid marks. Neither of us discussed it. He left in a hurry.
—Lindsey
Aftermath: He actually ended it a couple weeks later and got lots of nicknames from my friends. Favorite lines: “Wow. You really f*cked the sh*t out of him.” and “What an a**hole!”
As I waited patiently for her to get ready, her kitten started nuzzling me. I picked the cat up and realized the poor thing had one eye. Then, my date came in, grabbed the cat from me and threw it violently onto the kitchen table, where it struggled to catch itself on the slippery surface before falling off the edge and landing on the hardwood floor.
—Leon
Aftermath: I rushed our date and broke up with her the next weekend.
He slept with my coworker to make me jealous. It didn’t.
—Jalinda
Aftermath: He tried to commit suicide two nights after the break-up. I stopped feeling sorry for him after the next girl broke up with him and he again tried to commit suicide. Drama queen!
As I drove her home, she suddenly looked at me in terror and said, “I’m so sorry!” — which was promptly followed by the sound of her full bladder erupting all over my passenger seat.
—oneunfortunateguy
Aftermath: Oddly enough, I didn’t feel compelled to ask her out again.
After two years together, his lease was up for renewal. I suggested he and I move in together. His response: “You want to live with me and my roommates?”
—Mel
Aftermath: It lasted another six months before I realized he honestly and truly wasn’t in this relationship for the long haul.
