I dated this gal for a month and she told me she would swim to the bottom of the ocean for me. I replied with “But your head would explode.” She said that was fine, if it were for me. Then I asked her if she would still love me if I was a serial killer. She said yes!
—Max Armbar
Aftermath: Needless to say, I did not kill multiple people to see if she was telling the truth. I just got the heck out of Dodge.
The first time we kissed, she bit my lip. I’m not opposed to nibbling, but she busted it open.
—Tony
Aftermath: 15 minutes
We had this growing relationship, seemed well for about a month. She was pretty crazy, but I thought it was kind of cool. She eventually cut things off and started dating her best male friend. She started treating me like sh*t and harassing me in front of friends. A year later, she got a hold of me and we made out one night. I realized those feelings weren’t there and cut things off as politely as I could.
—Bud
Aftermath: At 16, she married a 36-year-old with 3 kids. She cheated on him, he stabbed the man and went to jail. We never came close to sex. She never saw me naked but told all my friends I had a small penis.
I got up to go get a glass of water and came back into my bedroom to find my boyfriend on his knees proceeding to tea bag my sleeping friend.
—Holly
Aftermath: Needless to say, I told him to zip up his pants and leave.
I’d been in the relationship for a few months and it was going nowhere. I invited here out to dinner so I could call it off in a public place. She took it harder than expected; I’d forgotten it was her birthday.
—Jon
Aftermath: We got back together months later, and when I knew it was over, again, I waited an extra two weeks so I could break up on her birthday again.
