“Test Your Goods”

best of weird

One of the things that I loved most about him was how close he was to his family, especially his dad. But one night at dinner, he told me that he had something important to ask me. I never expected it to be, “Would you mind if my dad tested out your goods first? He really knows what I like”. And he wasn’t joking.


Aftermath: I got up and left right about the time he started telling me his dad’s availability. I changed my number and email after his father tried contacting me several times about setting up a “date.”


“Sunglasses during sex”


I was talking to this guy for about 2 months on the phone. When I finally met him, he had on sunglasses and a baseball hat at 10:00 at night. I asked him if his glasses were prescription. He said yes. One thing led to another and we ended up having sex. I couldn’t believe he kept on his hat and glasses. I realized he was hiding a lazy eye.


Aftermath: He kept texting me but I never responded.

This post was submitted by Janice Sherrod.


“You Suck”


It was over when he asked me if I thought he was crazy after two weeks of dating. Well, yes, a little. Our first fight was a lot of him saying “I love you”, “I hate you” and “you suck.” Really? At 50? I was done.


Aftermath: Little did I know the incessant, insane calls and stalking would last almost longer than the dating. I am soooo happy being single!

This post was submitted by singlehappydance.

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“Nice try jealous guy”


I was a professional salsa dancer when we met, and even after 8 months of dating, he was still jealous.
One night he texted me saying he was going to kill himself. I came home to find him rolling around under his sheets with Mardi Gras beads wrapped around his neck “choking” himself. I stood watching for 15 minutes while he would flail, cough, and occasionally peek out from underneath to see if I was still paying attention.


Aftermath: All that is left of that relationship is this story.

This post was submitted by happierNow.

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It was over when I found him outside my bedroom window listening to my phone conversations.


Aftermath: After 4 years, he still tries to see me. WEIRDO.

This post was submitted by stoli.

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