“Jean shorts”


She offered me her ex-boyfriend’s jean shorts to sleep in. Her guest room was full of her ex-boyfriend’s clothes.


Aftermath: My first clue should have been that the guy before me abandoned an entire wardrobe to get away from this woman.

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She took me to Al-Anon, a meeting for the adult children of alcoholics, for a date.


Aftermath: That was the best part of the evening, even after she took off her clothes.

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“I’m pretty damn funny”


Shortly after we ended things, I searched some of our chats for the times when he made me genuinely laugh. They were few and very far between. It was mostly me cracking myself up with my responses to him. I gotta say, I’m pretty damn funny. He wasn’t. But he sure thought he was.


Aftermath: Taking applications for funny guys who don’t always resort to poop and fart jokes. Although I do love me some of those.

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“Out of body experience”


We dated 2 years. Valentine’s Day. Big fight. Hot make up sex. She says to me afterwards, “During our fight, I was standing at the foot of the bed watching us argue. I was thinking to myself, Don’t be so mean to him. He really is a nice guy.” Stand at the foot of the bed watching herself?!


Next morning I walked her to the front door and told her we were done. She calmly said OK without any emotion and turned and walked away. I never saw her again.

This post was submitted by Rondog.


“Eating on the sh*tter”


I had only been married a couple of months and decided to prepare a nice meal for my husband. He was hungry but also had to poop. So, he took his plate into the bathroom and ate it while he was pooping. To this day I cannot eat ham without thinking of him on the toilet.


Aftermath: DIVORCE!

This post was submitted by Michelle.