“To make me jealous”

sex weird

He slept with my coworker to make me jealous. It didn’t.


Aftermath: He tried to commit suicide two nights after the break-up. I stopped feeling sorry for him after the next girl broke up with him and he again tried to commit suicide. Drama queen!



best of weird

As I drove her home, she suddenly looked at me in terror and said, “I’m so sorry!” — which was promptly followed by the sound of her full bladder erupting all over my passenger seat.


Aftermath: Oddly enough, I didn’t feel compelled to ask her out again.

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“The lease”

best of weird

After two years together, his lease was up for renewal. I suggested he and I move in together. His response: “You want to live with me and my roommates?”


Aftermath: It lasted another six months before I realized he honestly and truly wasn’t in this relationship for the long haul.

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“Jean shorts”


She offered me her ex-boyfriend’s jean shorts to sleep in. Her guest room was full of her ex-boyfriend’s clothes.


Aftermath: My first clue should have been that the guy before me abandoned an entire wardrobe to get away from this woman.

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She took me to Al-Anon, a meeting for the adult children of alcoholics, for a date.


Aftermath: That was the best part of the evening, even after she took off her clothes.

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