sex

 

“O Face looked like her Brother”

best of sex

I started dating my buddy’s hot sister. We had great sex until the first time she had an orgasm while on top facing me. Her orgasm face made her look exactly like her brother. I immediately lost “it.”

— HockeyDude

Aftermath: We split up and haven’t seen her since.

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“Jesus is Watching”

best of sex

I can’t decide…When we were having sex and he pulled out, threw on his clothes and said “We can’t do this, Jesus is watching,” or when he told me we could never hang out on Sundays because that’s when his “Magic the Gathering” card club met.

— Red Balloon

Aftermath: He broke up with me about a week after the sex incident, saying we were “going too fast” and that he needed to be more mature for his mother.


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“Diagnosis; slut”

sex

She told me  I gave her Chlamydia, even though she was my first and only sexual experience and I knew she had a lot of “friends.”

— Mike

Aftermath: Test results later came back clean for me… Peace out!


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“Final Straw”

best of sex

I was off and on with a guy who had a massive drinking problem. One night he got drunk and tried to kill me, saying that he wanted me to hate him. I stayed because I thought I could help him, but things never got better. The final straw was when he called me one day asking me if I would have sex with him in front of some creepy old man for money. I told him never to contact me again!

—Crystal

Aftermath: After almost 2 years of being off and on, that phone call made something click and after his million sorrys I just didn’t care anymore. My stress level has decreased and I’m much happier now.

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“WINNER! Hush”

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While in bed, I complimented one of his (only successful) sexual moves. He told me I was “ruining his concentration.” He shushed me during sex!

—Jen

Aftermath: It was over before he was finished!


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