sex

 

“Give it time”

sex

I knew it was over when he began only calling me between 1 a.m. & 4 a.m. when he was drunk, and only wanted me to come over for sex. When I confronted him about this he said, “Well, that’s just how it is—you’ll get used to it, give it time…”

— Zobelia

Aftermath: Shortly after me, he met another girl, she ended up being dumb enough to fall for him. He got her pregnant, my response to him was, “Well, that’s just how it is…”


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“Girls”

best of sex

After a year of what I thought was a pretty strong relationship, she suddenly decided she wanted to see other people. “What other people?” I asked. “Girls,” she replied.

—Jeff

Aftermath: It pretty much ended right then and there, although it took her two weeks to get all of her crap out of my apartment…

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“Leg shaver”

sex

He said he shaves his legs because he likes the feel of it and women tell him it drives them wild.

—Lolita

Aftermath: It remains to be seen.


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“Completing the Family”

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He brought his ex-wife to our dinner date. Not only was her name the same as mine, but he explained that they were looking to complete their family. He then proceeded to tell me the rules of the house and punishment for breaking those rules (something about flogging). Yeah, that wasn’t happening.

—Jenn

Aftermath: They are still looking for their third!

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“Breast Milk”

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We went on a date despite the fact that she had just given birth three months ago (I didn’t ask and didn’t care). We were making out in my car and she kept complaining that her boobs hurt when she didn’t “remove” the milk. She asked me if I wanted to see them. As a guy, I would NEVER turn down the sight of boobs. I thought it was an invitation to upcoming sex, but I was DEAD wrong. She relieved herself by squirting milk all over the inside of my car, dashboard, rear-view mirror…

—Accol

Aftermath: Ever try scrubbing breast milk off the inside of your car? Didn’t think so.

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