“Reconciled premarital sex”

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She kept telling me that I needed to go to church with her. When I asked why, she said because God loves us and only wants us to love and obey him. I knew it was over when I asked her how she reconciled our premarital sex with her orthodox religiosity and she told me to shut the F up.


Aftermath: We broke up about a month later. The sex wasn’t that good anyway.

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“Teasing me with a 3-way”

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She was always teasing me with a 3-way, with another girl. But, when she came home with her new best girlfriend, they had no interest in me.


Aftermath: Divorced 6 months later.

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I had never been that sexually attracted to my boyfriend. One morning, after a long, booze-filled night, I was hungover and headachy. He tried to have sex with me anyway. I just acquiesced because I figured I could just lay there. I realized, as he was taking his pants off and thrusting toward me, that the reason I wasn’t attracted to him was because with his big round belly and hard dick, he looked like a bee coming at me with its stinger.


Aftermath: It lasted less than two weeks after that. We never had sex again.




It was over when she told me that she was allergic to latex.

—Chicago Chris

Aftermath: 2 Weeks.


“Bookmarked tab”

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I asked to borrow his computer. His bookmarks tab was open and one of the pages he had bookmarked was “Chicks with Dicks.”


Aftermath: Our 6-month “open” relationship ended about a month after this. He was a very sweet guy, but not for me.

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