We were “study buddies” for one of our college classes. Things got hot and steamy one night, and we took it to his bedroom. I thought it was weird that he kept saying how awesome it was that he could stay hard but never cum (ever?!), though I let it go because he offered to go down on me. Then he said, “Ladies love it when I do the alphabet on them!” and proceeds to draw the alphabet with his tongue while saying “A… B… C…” Um, can we just stick “O,” please?

—Nancy

Aftermath: Good thing it never started in the first place. We never talked again afterward that little primary school lesson. Plus, it turns out he had a girlfriend, so… yeah.

This guy and I hooked up semi-regularly. We were thoroughly intoxicated one night and went back to his place. We were laying in bed, taking clothes off, when I realized he’d turned on the TV. I look over at the screen to see him laying naked on the same bed we were  in with some other girl. I sort of slurred something about it being awkward, so he turned it off, and I had sex with him anyway. I was drunk and he was there –what can I say?

—That Girl

Aftermath: A mutual friend called while he was walking me out the next morning. I answered and said “He made me watch homemade porn!!” He looked at me and said, “Umm…I’m standing right next to you…”

We had sex and I still couldn’t tell if he had an erection.

—Pilar

Aftermath: Never heard from him again after I intimated he had a small, flaccid penis.

We ended out fooling around in his bedroom, but he couldn’t quite complete the deed. I let that go, content to lay on the bed, talking, and the next thing he says is, “I think I want to marry a nice Persian girl.” I am as far from Persian as you can get. Then he proudly declares he has the butt of a black man. “Where do you keep it?” I thought.

—BaltOhNo

Aftermath: I saw him a few times, usually last-minute, spontaneous. Suddenly I realized I was a booty call (duh). I stopped answering, he stopped calling. He never did get it up.

After dating for awhile, her boss met me at a party and liked me better. He started asking her to get my advice on things. She lost her limelight to me. I knew it was over when she asked me to delete “certain things” we had done on video.

—Science

Aftermath: We slept together one more time after the break up just because it was always wild. Not heard from her since.