We had sex and I still couldn’t tell if he had an erection.

—Pilar

Aftermath: Never heard from him again after I intimated he had a small, flaccid penis.

6

I came home a couple of days early from a trip and caught him masturbating while sniffing my underwear.

—Christine

Aftermath: I stayed at a friend’s house that night and started apartment shopping first thing in the morning. I let him keep

the thong as I won’t be needing it again.

15

I knew it was over when he began only calling me between 1 a.m. & 4 a.m. when he was drunk, and only wanted me to come over for sex. When I confronted him about this he said, “Well, that’s just how it is—you’ll get used to it, give it time…”

— Zobelia

Aftermath: Shortly after me, he met another girl, she ended up being dumb enough to fall for him. He got her pregnant, my response to him was, “Well, that’s just how it is…”

16

After a year of what I thought was a pretty strong relationship, she suddenly decided she wanted to see other people. “What other people?” I asked. “Girls,” she replied.

—Jeff

Aftermath: It pretty much ended right then and there, although it took her two weeks to get all of her crap out of my apartment…

18

We ended out fooling around in his bedroom, but he couldn’t quite complete the deed. I let that go, content to lay on the bed, talking, and the next thing he says is, “I think I want to marry a nice Persian girl.” I am as far from Persian as you can get. Then he proudly declares he has the butt of a black man. “Where do you keep it?” I thought.

—BaltOhNo

Aftermath: I saw him a few times, usually last-minute, spontaneous. Suddenly I realized I was a booty call (duh). I stopped answering, he stopped calling. He never did get it up.

19