It Was Over When: Tales of Romantic Dead Ends » sex

Drunk Dial

tdomf_feb82 — Wed, 23 May 2012 13:00:46 +0000

I knew it was over when he began only calling me between 1 a.m. & 4 a.m. when he was drunk, and only wanted me to come over for sex. When I confronted him about this he said, “Well, that’s just how it is—you’ll get used to it, give it time…”

— Zobelia

Aftermath: Shortly after me, he met another girl, she ended up being dumb enough to fall for him. He got her pregnant, my response to him was, “Well, that’s just how it is…”

Girls

tdomf_feb82 — Tue, 22 May 2012 13:00:57 +0000

After a year of what I thought was a pretty strong relationship, she suddenly decided she wanted to see other people. “What other people?” I asked. “Girls,” she replied.

—Jeff

Aftermath: It pretty much ended right then and there, although it took her two weeks to get all of her crap out of my apartment…

Legs

admin — Wed, 16 May 2012 13:00:10 +0000

He said he shaves his legs because he likes the feel of it and women tell him it drives them wild.

—Lolita

Aftermath: It remains to be seen.

Completing the Family

admin — Mon, 14 May 2012 13:00:12 +0000

He brought his ex-wife to our dinner date. Not only was her name the same as mine, but he explained that they were looking to complete their family. He then proceeded to tell me the rules of the house and punishment for breaking those rules (something about flogging). Yeah, that wasn’t happening.

—Jenn

Aftermath: They are still looking for their third!

Milk

admin — Mon, 07 May 2012 13:00:02 +0000

We went on a date despite the fact that she had just given birth three months ago (I didn’t ask and didn’t care). We were making out in my car and she kept complaining that her boobs hurt when she didn’t “remove” the milk. She asked me if I wanted to see them. As a guy, I would NEVER turn down the sight of boobs. I thought it was an invitation to upcoming sex, but I was DEAD wrong. She relieved herself by squirting milk all over the inside of my car, dashboard, rear-view mirror…

—Accol

Aftermath: Ever try scrubbing breast milk off the inside of your car? Didn’t think so.

Persian girl

admin — Sat, 05 May 2012 13:00:19 +0000

We ended out fooling around in his bedroom, but he couldn’t quite complete the deed. I let that go, content to lay on the bed, talking, and the next thing he says is, “I think I want to marry a nice Persian girl.” I am as far from Persian as you can get. Then he proudly declares he has the butt of a black man. “Where do you keep it?” I thought.

—BaltOhNo

Aftermath: I saw him a few times, usually last-minute, spontaneous. Suddenly I realized I was a booty call (duh). I stopped answering, he stopped calling. He never did get it up.

Certain things

admin — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 13:00:16 +0000

After dating for awhile, her boss met me at a party and liked me better. He started asking her to get my advice on things. She lost her limelight to me. I knew it was over when she asked me to delete “certain things” we had done on video.

—Science

Aftermath: We slept together one more time after the break up just because it was always wild. Not heard from her since.

The Giggler

admin — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 13:00:53 +0000

He giggled after sex. And not just a little, it was pretty hearty giggling like someone just told the funniest damn joke…and it last for about 5 minutes. It was some kind of “tick” that he had. He couldn’t control it and it happened to him every time.

—No Sense of Humor

Aftermath: I tried to give it a shot, he was a nice guy & I didn’t want to be shallow. But I couldn’t take it. A couple weeks & few more “giggle” sessions later, I stopped responding. It was just too weird!

The best…

admin — Sat, 07 Apr 2012 13:00:29 +0000

So I got drunk and f***ed this guy on our second date. He kept telling me he loved me and tried to get me to tell him I loved him, which was a bonerkiller like you would not believe. I had to threaten to put my pants on and go home before he would shut up. Right after we finished, he asked “Wasn’t that the best orgasm you’ve ever had?” I was irritated enough to answer, truthfully, that it had not been, at which point he got really pouty.

—Amelie

Aftermath: Immediately started avoiding the hell out of him, although he continued to drunk-dial for almost a year. Wow, seeing this in writing makes me way more embarrassed about this.

Favorite endeavor

admin — Fri, 06 Apr 2012 13:00:21 +0000

We argued for an hour about anal sex. Apparently this was a favorite endeavor of his and his ex-girlfriend and he was insistent that I engage in this act as well.
—Lee-Lee
Aftermath: Two weeks later I went by his house at 3:30 a.m. and found his ex-girlfriend’s car parked outside.